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The simple attitude change that changes everything in relationships

“It seems like the established, cool men who also have substance are attracted to much younger women,” expressed my very empowered, go-getter, female client in her late thirties. She had put herself out there and the world had received her well, but there was one area of her life where she could not crack the code: love!

This is such a hot topic. On a superficial level at least, this definitely seems like a scientifically observed phenomenon. I sent the Bliss Doctor (my trusted inner detective) to look under the hood of the car, and I’m back with some interesting downloads that will bust these myths.

First, I qualify myself. I myself have been in a relationship for the last three and a half years with what I consider a dashingly delicious, well-established, mature heartthrob. When I asked him why he chose me as a partner, he gave me two reasons. “Firstly, you have your shit together, and secondly, you actually are a woman, like a real woman.”

Sounds like romantic niceties and pillow talk, yeah? But that’s not his style, so I knew there was more to what he meant. I probed him a little deeper about what that really means, and I was totally surprised by his response.

So the translation of “You have your shit together” in man-language is: “You are an empowered woman. When you see an issue or weakness in yourself, in our domestic affair, or even myself, you step in and do what you need to, to uplift the vibe. You don’t take things personally.”

He said he feels better around women whose emotions don’t run rampant, but who are able to consciously guide things back on track when they’ve gone awry.

As for the “real woman” translation, I braced myself to find that it meant: “Babe, I love that you are not afraid of your femininity and vulnerability – especially when it comes to your sexuality. You are comfortable showing your devotion to me, and our life together, and that’s a real turn-on.”

Boom! (Phewf! Part of me was afraid he was going to pat my back for going out there and conquering the world, as that was the definition of a real woman I had gotten used to.)

What I’ve realized with many of my clients is that they are such women of power, and they want to be able to be a “power couple” with a man. However, for many modern women, and not just my clients, their own masculine energy is so well established because there’s been the expectation (and maybe also desire) for them to go out and conquer the world. What does that mean? Well, for my particular client it meant that when she met a man she really liked … nothing happened. Why? Because he didn’t feel she needed his masculine energy as she already had so much of her own.

Thus, on the surface level, it would look as though he was going for younger girls, but in reality, he (and men like him) was seeking the soft, surrendered, juicy female vibe to act as an opposite pole to his masculine energy. He needed this in order to create that incredible magnetic attraction that we call chemistry.

And that’s the whole rub of this scenario. Chemistry and magnetism are unconscious processes – laws of physics, even – but they are often taken personally. In fact, they are so scientific that they can be studied in a petri dish by the Bliss Doctor. Joking aside, it is a well-known fact that certain elements (like hormones) within our physical systems will create a chemical reaction, and others simply don’t activate anything upon meeting another person.

Let me explain:

  1. Physically, a man with healthy levels of hormones will be activated by the opposite. So, regardless of age, if a woman is able to be soft and feminine in an authentic way, she will also make the man feel those magnetic waves. And now we get to the tough part.
  1. Why do we (as women) lose touch with our feminine vulnerability? Why are we not able to be devoted? The quick answer: We are afraid of the “ouchie.” In the past, it’s hurt us like hell, so we shut our vulnerability down. Although well intentioned, feminists haven’t really helped us in this department. We were told our über-independence will be a turn-on. And it is, when it comes to career and social image. But those potent vibes are like a high tide; they drown out his waves, leaving him feeling disempowered. Truth: A disempowered man is NEVER aroused. You may amaze him, but you’ll fail to arouse him. So where does that leave us?
  1. Like I said, don’t take it personally. It’s not about you and who you are. You are an empowered goddess, there is no doubt about it. But a slightly different strategy is needed to MANifest the results you deserve.
  1. Lastly, and most importantly, we live in an AND-world. It is definitely possible to have BOTH, and be powerful and vulnerable at the same time. It’s just about learning how to navigate with mastery. One way to do that is to learn how to use your body and its sensations to turn on the empowered vibes when they’re needed, and then skillfully transform them into soft, juicy and luscious vibes when those are needed instead.

I am here to help  – sign up for the FREE webinar to find out more.